"Clean"

I know miss Taylor Swift gets a lot of flack for her music, but this song in particular rings so true for me. Especially as I am coming up on my 10 month anniversary of being free. . . not just free, but "clean". It's such a profound way to describe it, getting clean of the love of an abuser. Anyone who has been in love with someone who is an abuser can relate to the very addicting elixir of "love" provided by him/her. The reason why I will NEVER judge anyone who stays with an abuser, is because I have experienced just how powerful this love elixir is. Psychologically, it's incredibly difficult and painful to break free from the "love" of an abuser.  Staying with one is equally difficult and painful. However, once you get clean, you realize nothing in the world is worth going back. The high, the love, the all powerful elixir has lost it's hold forever. Reaching this point- the point of being clean, is so refreshing. So, thank you Miss Swift for your beautiful voice singing these words which sooth my aching heart.

The drought was the very worst When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst It was months, and months of back and forth You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm Rain came pouring down when I was drowning That's when I could finally breathe And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean There was nothing left to do When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room So I punched a hole in the roof Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing Rain came pouring down when I was drowning That's when I could finally breathe And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean I think I am finally clean Said I think I am finally clean 10 months sober, I must admit Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it 10 months older, I won't give in Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it The drought was the very worst When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst Rain came pouring down when I was drowning That's when I could finally breathe And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean Rain came pouring down when I was drowning That's when I could finally breathe And by morning gone was any trace of you I think I am finally clean Finally clean Think I'm finally clean Think I'm finally clean